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March 11, 2015
mindfull (adj.)
Today I experienced/ participated in my first guided "Shamata" meditation, at the Shambalah Tibetan Buddhist meditation centre (they hold free weekly classes). I say "experienced" and "participated" because of my reluctance to decide on how active or passive this "doing" was: I came away having felt the unequivocal tension and paradox present in the practice of meditation:
Arriving, then letting go; putting in effort, but not trying too hard; concentrating on not concentrating. Being gentle, but disciplined.
The gap between quietude in body and in mind eventually shrunk - as I tried to quiet the bustle of sentience and reason that seems to come naturally to us as we go about the world. On the cushion, the stillness of body gave way to my mind to start filling the space with a more calm, less visceral being.
I tagged this post with the label "travel" because I really went somewhere. Meditation ventured me somewhere between sleep and wakefulness on all fronts: For those 7 (?) minutes, I oscillated between a deep - yet subtle - feeling of just "being" (for infinitesimally short periods of time that somehow felt long enough for me to remember them) and a shallow, blunt protrusion of the most trivial thoughts, like "my eyes are watery" or "I am going to fall asleep" that brought me back to my physical existence.
What I gathered from the talk that followed, was that neither place - whether in shallow existing or in deep being - is "bad"; the aim of meditation is to become aware of both, and of everything in between; in time, you learn to hold more space for reflection on all experience, affording you a chance to mindfully respond to life rather than to impulsively react. The first step is to hold more space for ourselves, so that ultimately there is more space for one another; with enough practice, and as this becomes more normative, we can all play a part in contributing to a world of ubiquitous kindness, acceptance, compassion, tolerance - as opposed to aggression, rejection, and self-consciousness (the harmful kind).
One line from the teacher that struck me was
This reminded me that the foundation of all our forms or expressions - whether physical, spiritual, intellectual, or emotional, are the acts of the mind - how we come to reflect on our being in the world is what drives our responses and reactions, which has a huge impact (and may arguably be the sole influence) on how we come to form our identity and how we relate to others in the physical world.
Another line that resonated was the instruction to
To me, this simple notion of a thought just simply resting upon something, completely defines the act and aims of meditation. Just meditating on that spirals me closer toward that infinitesimal moment in time I experienced today and hope to tap into more often - of just being, and of being mindfull, not mindless.
*Disclaimer: I've long been curious in all sorts of philosophies, and spiritual practices (can you tell??), though I admit I've never taken to study any one kind or style at length nor in great detail; my authority to speak about meditation and mindfulness is solely based on my personal spiritual experience and my intermittent philosophical tinkering with a bit of informal everythings (or a whole lot of formalized nothing). So apologies if I've complicated, oversimplified, misnamed, misplaced, assumed, undermined or misused any terms, concepts, tenets, etc; I'm just rambling myself out of the absurdities and nausea of the existentialist's abyss following a relatively short stint into my subconscious. Thanks, and have a nice day!
Arriving, then letting go; putting in effort, but not trying too hard; concentrating on not concentrating. Being gentle, but disciplined.
The gap between quietude in body and in mind eventually shrunk - as I tried to quiet the bustle of sentience and reason that seems to come naturally to us as we go about the world. On the cushion, the stillness of body gave way to my mind to start filling the space with a more calm, less visceral being.
I tagged this post with the label "travel" because I really went somewhere. Meditation ventured me somewhere between sleep and wakefulness on all fronts: For those 7 (?) minutes, I oscillated between a deep - yet subtle - feeling of just "being" (for infinitesimally short periods of time that somehow felt long enough for me to remember them) and a shallow, blunt protrusion of the most trivial thoughts, like "my eyes are watery" or "I am going to fall asleep" that brought me back to my physical existence.
What I gathered from the talk that followed, was that neither place - whether in shallow existing or in deep being - is "bad"; the aim of meditation is to become aware of both, and of everything in between; in time, you learn to hold more space for reflection on all experience, affording you a chance to mindfully respond to life rather than to impulsively react. The first step is to hold more space for ourselves, so that ultimately there is more space for one another; with enough practice, and as this becomes more normative, we can all play a part in contributing to a world of ubiquitous kindness, acceptance, compassion, tolerance - as opposed to aggression, rejection, and self-consciousness (the harmful kind).
One line from the teacher that struck me was
see the body as a space to hold your mind.
This reminded me that the foundation of all our forms or expressions - whether physical, spiritual, intellectual, or emotional, are the acts of the mind - how we come to reflect on our being in the world is what drives our responses and reactions, which has a huge impact (and may arguably be the sole influence) on how we come to form our identity and how we relate to others in the physical world.
Another line that resonated was the instruction to
let your thoughts sit upon the breath, rather than to think through the breath.
To me, this simple notion of a thought just simply resting upon something, completely defines the act and aims of meditation. Just meditating on that spirals me closer toward that infinitesimal moment in time I experienced today and hope to tap into more often - of just being, and of being mindfull, not mindless.
 |
| “I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself.” |
*Disclaimer: I've long been curious in all sorts of philosophies, and spiritual practices (can you tell??), though I admit I've never taken to study any one kind or style at length nor in great detail; my authority to speak about meditation and mindfulness is solely based on my personal spiritual experience and my intermittent philosophical tinkering with a bit of informal everythings (or a whole lot of formalized nothing). So apologies if I've complicated, oversimplified, misnamed, misplaced, assumed, undermined or misused any terms, concepts, tenets, etc; I'm just rambling myself out of the absurdities and nausea of the existentialist's abyss following a relatively short stint into my subconscious. Thanks, and have a nice day!
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