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May 2, 2014
injure (v.)
Back at the end of March, I decided to start training for the BMO half marathon. I had a good baseline to start from as I've always been a bit of a runner, my feet usually finding their way to the seawall for a 10K once a week, but I had never run quite that far. I was stoked and pretty exhilerated when I signed up - put some money down, gambling on my commitment to run 21km of hilly terrain, for my first-ever organized run.
I was off to a good start and gradually added kilometers to my training. I did do one (in hindsight, ambitious) big jump from about 12km, to 18km, but handled it pretty well. Woke up one Sunday and joined a friend with the Runner's World group and handled it with relative ease. Took it slow, and did it in just shy of two hours. That week, my foot started to hurt and I had to take a week or so off. I figured I'd regressed a bit, but wasn't too concerned - until a weird knee pain paid me a visit another two 10Ks later.
Late last week, I was still peg-legging up and down stairs and having a bit of a hard time comfortably walking (without that "icky-something's-up-with-my-kneecap" feeling). I took it easy this week and felt pretty good. Today, being Friday and the final countdown before the BMO, I decided to give it a go. Two kilometers later, I was done, icky feeling back and all. Came home for a glass of wine and an ice pack (pretty much what I'm doing right now).
It's not a coincidence that there's only a slight distinction between "injure" and "endure." What's interesting though is that I'm having an easier time enduring the injury itself than I am enduring the fact that I can't continue working towards my goal - and that in fact, I may have to just bow out altogether.
Ironically, "injury" comes from the Latin injuria, ‘a wrong,’ (from in-, expressing negation, + jur- ‘right.’). It couldn't be more right. That icky feeling is definitely a reaction to something being wrong with my body - feeling this dull, unnerving sort of pain (much like the disturbing feeling of a vaccination I had a couple of weeks ago).
But this injury also invokes the feeling of perpetuating a moral wrong - doing something that is in contention with my principles: Abandoning my goal by not running. The goals I set - and push to reach - stand for my attitude and character and I feel I must, at the very least, "show up and try."
These are the... enduries I'm injuring. I may have to just swallow my pride and sleep in on Sunday; lick my wounds (at least it's not an injured elbow!) and go to Julie's waffle brunch instead... Or, do I show up at the start line at 7am with the knowledge that I will likely abandon my goal just to know I showed up? Endure an ungodly wake-up-at-dawn morning....for the sake of my injured ego?
I was off to a good start and gradually added kilometers to my training. I did do one (in hindsight, ambitious) big jump from about 12km, to 18km, but handled it pretty well. Woke up one Sunday and joined a friend with the Runner's World group and handled it with relative ease. Took it slow, and did it in just shy of two hours. That week, my foot started to hurt and I had to take a week or so off. I figured I'd regressed a bit, but wasn't too concerned - until a weird knee pain paid me a visit another two 10Ks later.
Late last week, I was still peg-legging up and down stairs and having a bit of a hard time comfortably walking (without that "icky-something's-up-with-my-kneecap" feeling). I took it easy this week and felt pretty good. Today, being Friday and the final countdown before the BMO, I decided to give it a go. Two kilometers later, I was done, icky feeling back and all. Came home for a glass of wine and an ice pack (pretty much what I'm doing right now).
It's not a coincidence that there's only a slight distinction between "injure" and "endure." What's interesting though is that I'm having an easier time enduring the injury itself than I am enduring the fact that I can't continue working towards my goal - and that in fact, I may have to just bow out altogether.
Ironically, "injury" comes from the Latin injuria, ‘a wrong,’ (from in-, expressing negation, + jur- ‘right.’). It couldn't be more right. That icky feeling is definitely a reaction to something being wrong with my body - feeling this dull, unnerving sort of pain (much like the disturbing feeling of a vaccination I had a couple of weeks ago).
But this injury also invokes the feeling of perpetuating a moral wrong - doing something that is in contention with my principles: Abandoning my goal by not running. The goals I set - and push to reach - stand for my attitude and character and I feel I must, at the very least, "show up and try."
These are the... enduries I'm injuring. I may have to just swallow my pride and sleep in on Sunday; lick my wounds (at least it's not an injured elbow!) and go to Julie's waffle brunch instead... Or, do I show up at the start line at 7am with the knowledge that I will likely abandon my goal just to know I showed up? Endure an ungodly wake-up-at-dawn morning....for the sake of my injured ego?
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