I've moved my blog to WP: idefiningi.wordpress.com
April 17, 2011
winding down (v.)
Thought it was time I plugged a new entry into my dictionnaire de la vie. Coincidentally, it's pretty well-timed - it's a chance to tie up some lose ends, some dangling threads of time, and reflect on right now.
I've been engulfed in a Murakami novel once again (I treat myself to his dream-like narrative whenever MPub and life stresses get a bit overwhelming), so I've been thinking a lot about capital T, Time.
At the core of the novel is the wind-up bird, this mysterious creature that winds the world and sets it into motion. It's this bird that no one in the story can see - they just hear it at certain moments - when the timing's right. Sometimes, it's during an important and intense moment like when a character is experiencing a death; sometimes it's while the protagonist is enjoying eggs for breakfast. The creaking of a winding clock, embodied in some natural non-mechanical, free-flying creature - a bird - throws him into a deeper reality and makes him experience more than just the sounds of a suffering man's cries, or the taste of his breakfast toast.
I feel I kind of noticed a winding of a clock recently too - like there's an energy being drawn in, so that it can let loose later (soon) and let things unfurl and change.
It often happens around this time of the year - during "spring cleaning" season, the end of school, the start of summer, the lengthening of days, just around my birthday, early in April - this pause for reflection so that time can start again anew.
This year, it's happened because a lot of things are coming together and taking me in a new kind of direction. There's a wind up going on, and I'm in the middle of that pause before the the tick tock motion begins..waiting in anticipation... and it's giving me a funny feeling...
MPub just ended - an eight-month long Masters program during which I spent close to 35 hours a week with the same 25 people. We had our final presentations a week ago, (#Rowlyshomebrew) and I've realized, finally, as we print off our final papers (God-sent), hand them in and get ready to write our one History final on Tuesday, MPub is coming to a close.
We're all heading off to our internships, taking the next step - no more giggling at *those incoherent emails, laughing at stupid puns in our little offices, mooching coffee from Harbour Centre events we aren't invited to, browsing for witty cats and tweeting word counts; no more highlighter pens, broken staplers, and sharing chilly rooms with some of the warmest people on the planet.
Some of us are staying in Vancouver, while a lot of us are also leaving.
In my case, I'm heading off to Montreal for an internship at Reader's Digest. There is crazy amounts of excitement inside me, though I am kind of procrastinating from actually showing any of it - maybe even feeling it.
Just the sheer thought of arriving in a new city, unpacking all of my stuff in my new apartment on my new street, Rue Aylmer... the thought of brewing myself my first cup of coffee (or will it be a brew-diddly?) in my new living room where I'll be until September... the thought of smelling the sheets in my new bed.. it all sends a surge of excitement into my veins and get's me all nervous and anxious and jumpy about the tick-tocking that's about to happen. Yet, even as I think of all this, I'm kind of getting nostalgic for right now.
For this reason, now, until the Time comes, I'm going to spend some time being a little girl, riding a prolonged wave and counting my blessings as though nothing is different..... Soon I'll be opening gifts and enjoying Vancouver "summertime"...before saying goodbye and embarking on a new journey in a new timezone.
The timing isn't right yet to start something new. I need to rest and relax and absorb now...wind down...
and lick all the cooking utensils as my mama makes me my favourite birthday cake.
I'm just gonna wait to turn 24 first, then I'll grow up another year and go coo-coo for "the summer of Vish".
Until then, I'll chirp in naive delight
before I take flight.
I've been engulfed in a Murakami novel once again (I treat myself to his dream-like narrative whenever MPub and life stresses get a bit overwhelming), so I've been thinking a lot about capital T, Time.At the core of the novel is the wind-up bird, this mysterious creature that winds the world and sets it into motion. It's this bird that no one in the story can see - they just hear it at certain moments - when the timing's right. Sometimes, it's during an important and intense moment like when a character is experiencing a death; sometimes it's while the protagonist is enjoying eggs for breakfast. The creaking of a winding clock, embodied in some natural non-mechanical, free-flying creature - a bird - throws him into a deeper reality and makes him experience more than just the sounds of a suffering man's cries, or the taste of his breakfast toast.
I feel I kind of noticed a winding of a clock recently too - like there's an energy being drawn in, so that it can let loose later (soon) and let things unfurl and change.
It often happens around this time of the year - during "spring cleaning" season, the end of school, the start of summer, the lengthening of days, just around my birthday, early in April - this pause for reflection so that time can start again anew.
This year, it's happened because a lot of things are coming together and taking me in a new kind of direction. There's a wind up going on, and I'm in the middle of that pause before the the tick tock motion begins..waiting in anticipation... and it's giving me a funny feeling...
 . |
We're all heading off to our internships, taking the next step - no more giggling at *those incoherent emails, laughing at stupid puns in our little offices, mooching coffee from Harbour Centre events we aren't invited to, browsing for witty cats and tweeting word counts; no more highlighter pens, broken staplers, and sharing chilly rooms with some of the warmest people on the planet.
Some of us are staying in Vancouver, while a lot of us are also leaving.
In my case, I'm heading off to Montreal for an internship at Reader's Digest. There is crazy amounts of excitement inside me, though I am kind of procrastinating from actually showing any of it - maybe even feeling it.
Just the sheer thought of arriving in a new city, unpacking all of my stuff in my new apartment on my new street, Rue Aylmer... the thought of brewing myself my first cup of coffee (or will it be a brew-diddly?) in my new living room where I'll be until September... the thought of smelling the sheets in my new bed.. it all sends a surge of excitement into my veins and get's me all nervous and anxious and jumpy about the tick-tocking that's about to happen. Yet, even as I think of all this, I'm kind of getting nostalgic for right now.
For this reason, now, until the Time comes, I'm going to spend some time being a little girl, riding a prolonged wave and counting my blessings as though nothing is different..... Soon I'll be opening gifts and enjoying Vancouver "summertime"...before saying goodbye and embarking on a new journey in a new timezone.
The timing isn't right yet to start something new. I need to rest and relax and absorb now...wind down...
I'm just gonna wait to turn 24 first, then I'll grow up another year and go coo-coo for "the summer of Vish".
Until then, I'll chirp in naive delight
before I take flight.
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